What being “powerful” means to me these days
by Will Lion
I used to have a really skewed way of looking at power and everything that goes along with it. Arrogant, judgmental, overbearing, greedy, closed-minded, were some of the ways my brain translated it. I don’t know where these ideas came from, maybe karmic baggage of some kind, maybe I was a victim or a really jerky leader in a past life and it left me with this subconscious prejudice. Or maybe I absorbed it as a child (they are little sponges, you know).
This way of thinking kind of screwed me for a long, long time. I cheated myself, down-played myself and ran away from my own power so much, and I didn’t even realize what I was doing. There are probably many other people who are doing this and don’t even realize because it runs so deep.
A by-product of denying yourself your own power, is not knowing what you want because you never really gave it much thought. Your dreams suddenly became unattainable, so they faded into the background.
To me, being powerful now means…
~ Learning to recognize and trust your own intelligence and strengths. Don’t look for validation. Sometimes I’ll read something, and at first think I’m learning something new, and then it hits me: I already knew that, I just didn’t trust myself!
~ Knowing when to care and when not to care. If someone I barely know says something stupid to me, I usually ignore them, but only because they aren’t worth my time or energy. Of course, its a different story if it comes from someone close to me.
~ Helping people. In any way shape or form. Not because you want accolades but because you actually care.
~ Loving yourself unconditionally. Stretchmarks, moles, freckles, cellulite, renegade hairs, missing hair, big butt, no butt, small boobs, big boobs. What is life if you aren’t happy with yourself? This also includes taking care of yourself and paying attention to how you feel. Don’t diet/excersize just because you want to look better, do because you also want to feel better. This keeps you from self-destruction.
~ Forgiving yourself for your screw-ups, big or small. This goes along with the unconditional self-love. Don’t beat yourself up over your mistakes, just learn from them.
~ Getting a handle on your sexiness. This doesn’t have to mean having sex or being sexy by society’s standards, or dressing a certain way. It’s a huge part of your essence and the way you carry yourself. No piece of clothing, makeup or hairstyle will give that to you, it can only come from you.
~ Not letting anyone make major decisions for you. This can actually be a little tricky. Doubt is your intuition jumping up and down and giving you the “time out” signal. Get to know the little inner voice and listen to it, it always knows what’s best. This also applies to not-so-major decisions.
~ Not letting negative emotions get the best of you. Envy and jealousy in particular, are poison. This also goes along with not comparing yourself to other people. You can’t help it if a though like this creeps in, but you can choose to stomp it out and focus on things that make you feel good.
~ Knowing when to ask for help. If you can give help, then you can ask for it in return! Sometimes things get overwhelming or you really can’t handle something on your own (addictions, depression/anxiety, eating disorders, etc.).
~ Not letting your ego run the show. Ego can be a good thing but it can also cause trouble. Know when to reign it in.
~ Encouraging other people and not putting them down. Constructive criticism. Everyone has to start somewhere and learn if they want to get better. No one was born an expert or a master.
I think I covered it. What about you? What makes you feel powerful?